Review: I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Title: I'm Glad My Mom Died

Author and Narrator: Jennette McCurdy

Genre: Adult, nonfiction, memoir

Publication date: August 2022

Published by: Simon & Schuster

Source: Borrowed from library

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Synopsis: A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died , Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly , she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

My rating: ★★★★★

I have been intrigued by this book since it came out. I mean, with a title like that you can’t help but pause and go, “What?” But after reading this book and realizing how emotionally manipulative Jennette’s mother was, you understand why it’s called what it is. It’s terrible that her mom had cancer—it’s an awful disease and something no one should go through— but the way she threw that around to get her way was astounding. And that also did not give her the right to treat her family the way she did. Forcing Jennette into acting because that’s something she wanted to do growing up was not okay. Her mom telling her that she just wanted what was best for her and essentially manipulating her into acting... that was rough.

What was even worse was the way her mother taught Jennette about calorie restrictions at such a young age, aiding and even encouraging in the eating disorders she later developed. That was horrifying. Any sort of abuse you could imagine, and this poor girl suffered it at the hands of her mother, and at such a young age too. While I liked learning about someone’s life, this was also a really hard read. The book is broken down into two parts: Before and After. It follows Jennette McCurdy’s life since she was a kid and was thrown into the life of acting, all the way until the death of her mother and what followed after. It was told in a very linear way, which I appreciated.

I actually grew up watching iCarly—it was one of my favorite shows! And I still have very fond memories of it. But as I grew older and people started speaking out, we all came to realize that Nickelodeon wasn’t the happy place we all thought it to be. So to realize that not only did Jennette suffer at the hands of her mother, but also at the hands of The Creator of the show that shot her to fame, is despairing. At this point, we all know what a fucking creep The Creator was with the stars of the various Nickelodeon shows, and I am just glad that Jennette spoke up about her time on Nickelodeon because what went on behind the scenes was absolutely NOT okay. The way the industry treats kids is appalling and something needs to be done. So I am glad more light is being shed on the issue as the years go on. As for Jennette, she thought that by landing this leading role in the show that her mom’s dreams will have finally come true. But at the cost of what?

Fame has put a wedge between Mom and me that I didn’t think was possible. She wanted this. And I wanted her to have it. I wanted her to be happy. But now that I have it, I realize that she’s happy and I’m not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited.

And after all of this, Jennette didn’t even like acting. It made her uncomfortable, and the fame gave her anxiety. She doesn’t even like people, which is something I relate to heavily. Lol. But she would have these thoughts and then immediately feel guilty telling herself that she’s being ungrateful and that just made me so sad! I hate that she wasn’t allowed to live the life she wanted and instead was forced to live the life her mother wanted for herself but couldn’t have.

So much of my life has felt so out of my control for so long. And I’m done with that being my reality. I want my life to be in my hands. Not an eating disorder’s or a casting director’s or an agent’s or my mom’s. Mine.

This book was heavy. It was heartbreaking, infuriating, and raw. I really appreciated how open Jennette was about every single struggle in her life. Like I said previously, I grew up watching her on iCarly, and I just can't believe all the trauma she went through at that time. But I was so glad to hear that her friendship with Miranda was genuine and pure. I loved that.

I really appreciated her sharing her story in this memoir. And like I said in my review of Britney Spears’s memoir, I don't want to say I enjoyed this because that feels icky given everything she went through. But I was invested in the story from the start and appreciated how real Jennette was about her life. I’m sure Jennette had help writing this book, but regardless, it was very well written and she is a good storyteller. And this was one of the rare times where I alternated between reading the book and listening to the audiobook. I’m not a big audio person because my mind tends to wanders, but I knew I had to give this one a shot because the author narrates it herself. And it was well done! Not that I know much about audiobooks, but I liked it. Lol.

All that being said, I am so ready to return to my fluffy fictional worlds where all the hurt the characters go through is not real, even though it might feel like it.

Have you read this book? If so, what did you think about it? If not, what do you think? Does it sound like something you might want to read? Leave me a link to your review or comment below! 😊